Hello!!!

A year ago, I couldn’t cook mac n cheese. I could put some chicken in the oven, throw together a nice little salad but that was pretty much about it. Brownies in a box? Oh yeah…if they ever got to the cooking stage cause I loved me some brownie mix. I struggled with eating and by no means had a disorder. I just figured that either I ate and then didn’t eat? Or I just didn’t eat and when I did, it was horrible, easy to pick up stuff.

Four years ago, I weighed in at 138lbs. I was running nine or 10 miles every other day, getting excited for my kickboxing workout with my best friend, Mayo (nickname, not the stuff, although I loved that too). I played Division II varsity soccer for 4 years. In 2004, I ran a marathon. I loved to get out and exercise.

Four years ago, I had major surgery on my intestines and had struggled with my digestive system for years, with no one really figuring out what was wrong with me. In late 2010, a doctor basically just told me we were going to have to inquire about pain management for the rest of my life due to the stomach issues.

Now, things are horribly different and well, not so horribly.

I found out I could cook. And rather well. When I moved down to Georgia in November of 2010, The Soldier (my husband) brought to my attention a new way to eat. It was called Paleo. Basically, and I’ll go into the details about Paleo later, you eliminated sugar, grains, and dairy and some other stuff. I hate diets because I hate being hungry and I feel even worse when I cheat, which is inevitable. But we bought a book, gave the commitment to do the 30 day challenge which made me cook. And I was darned good at it.

But, on the horrible side, I haven’t worked out in probably 3 years. Every once in a while, here and there I would go to the gym but there was nothing consistent and we all know that one day out of 14 means you are just wasting breath. I gained a lot, and I mean A LOT, of weight. I’d throw down the number, but I’m terrified of getting on the scale. So let’s just say that I KNOW that I am fat.

I also let life get to me a little bit. The Soldier, obviously, has an awesome job. But he is here and there and everywhere. Left to myself, with Sully and Itchy as my housemates, I developed a rather weird and unfounded case of social anxiety. Now, as I say that, I have some wonderful friends. Some I met on my own when The Soldier was “away” and most all back home in the good state of Colorado. But meeting new people was basically terrifying to me. When I sat down and thought about it, I think it’s because I am so embarrassed about my weight. I drank a lot of beer, stayed home a lot and lost all direction and reason for life. Down in the dumps.

But…moving to Georgia to live with The Soldier again has changed things. As I mentioned, I started cooking. And cooking really healthy and wonderfully tasty food. While that is certainly not a bread-winning thing at this point in my life, it gave me some purpose other than yelling at Sully and Itchy. And, for once in my life, I had the diet/life change down. I know what is good for me, what to pair it with and have no anxiety about trying something new. And the funny thing is my stomach problems? Disappeared. Completely. Really, the only time that I have problems with my stomach is when I cheat and eat something not regulated in the clean food that I eat now.

I also started working out again. It’s gonna be a slow trek, but I’m ready for it and everyone has to start somewhere again. I’m going slowly for a couple of reasons. Late January, 2011, I broke my ankle. In half. At the gym. At 6pm when it was totally full. I wore a walking cast for almost 10+ weeks (lost count…) and a brace until very recently. So I’m being rather careful because I can’t tell you what kind of tail spin breaking my ankle again would do to me.  And, I went outside last week Monday, did way too many walking lunges and couldn’t walk for a week. So, The Soldier cleaned out the shed and made a sort of prison gym for me (and him, when he’s around). He calls it a prison gym, I call it The Room of Doom or The Hot House (as it is summer in Savannah…meaning hot, humid and there is no a/c in The Hot House.). So, to take away all my excuses (aww, gas prices are too high to drive to the gym on post, awww, it’s too far away, awww, I have social anxiety, awww, The Two Crazies ((Sully and Itchy)) will tear the house apart) I have to work out.

So this is gonna be my journey. I will try to post recipes, work outs and just how I’m feeling about getting my life back on track and being happy. It’s hard work moving to a new state with very little friends and my biggest and bestest buddy being gone all the time. I’m much more inclined to eat pizza, drink a lot of beer and watch TV whist yelling at the dogs. But things need to change.

This is the perfect opportunity for me right now. The Soldier is doing pretty well at his job; the house in Northern New York is being rented so we can afford to eat. I don’t have a job right now and I’m rather healthy. There is just no reason for me to continue to be depressed, sleep deprived from worry and fat. So…here we go.